Why don't I learn

I had an incredibly long, incredibly witty post about this week's Idol and something went entirely amiss and the next thing I know I'm getting a message about encountering problems and while it's happening, I'm saying in slow motion, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo" because of course, I haven't hit "save as draft" like I have to remind myself time and time again and I lost it. And I just don't have the energy to do it again. Blasted! So here's my quickie recap.

Two words: Jordin Sparks! Woman, I felt your words so much that I almost wept into my peanut buttercup Ben & Jerry's. Haley's outfit rocked (and her song did too, but let's face it, her performance tonight was not about the song.) I always get a little uncomfortable in my seat when I see Simon drooling. It gives me the heebies. Cute little Chris with a cute little ditty that reminded me of Hotel California. I would like to pinch his cheeks. Blake, I was luke-warm on your beatboxing for a while, but you added it wonderfully like a smooth side of fries next to the song that would be a burger in this scenario. Snaps for you. Lakisha and Stephanie are never not good (blatant use of double-negative here). They are always good, even if they weren't particularly exciting this week. Dr. Evil pranced awkwardly across the stage to one of my favorite songs, Tobacco Road. I can't even picture him without pursed lips and his pinky out. Phil is Dr. Evil. There is no two ways about it. Hat, please! Don't make me beg!

Then the case of Idol Hiccups that won't go away. Sanjaya. Did anyone catch the little she-fan bawling her 7th grader eyes out at the sounds of Sanjaya? Husband and I couldn't even watch this display. We had to look away. This has to be Sanjaya's week. I can't even take another week of this freakshow.

Big-haired Chris. Pretty good, but the best thing about his performance was the guy in the audience holding up the sign "Bringing Chubby Back." Gina went all Joan Jett on us and she was pretty good but not the best. And Melinda Dolittle was cute and good as always but her shirt gave her an unfortunate case of droopy-boob. But this is not a shirt competition, it's a singing competition. In sum, parts of this show were so good, I almost even wanted to vote! Almost.

So my closet mental vote goes to Blake and Jordin.