"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Monday, February 19, 2007

I'll Take a PB&J and a Side of Chicken, but Hold the Salmonella and the Botulism, Will You, Please?

OK. This is getting a little ridiculous. First, the tainted peanut butter, which, by the way, I had in my cupboard and I was literally one second from stuffing my piehole with salmonella when I found out it was being recalled. Then, I walk in from my food shopping escapade today with pre-cooked chicken strips for our lovely fajitas and (lucky me!!) I had decided to get the Perdue instead of the Oscar Mayer. Whew! But then, if that's not enough. Earth's Best Organic babyfood, which I also got stocked up on today, and now that's recalled because it contains some form of botulism! Now, I will say that the babyfood we have is one digit off on the number of the recalled product, and it's just a day off on the expiration date, but I don't care. I'm not taking any chance on feeding Poops botulism. I used to make all his food, but then I thought the organic stuff was pretty harmless, but now they can forget it!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's the newest list of food recalls.
Please, for the love of Pete, what is happening to our food supply? So here it is, my good, old-fashioned blog rant, and I apologize for my impending over-the-top-ness.

--begin rant--
I already won't eat Dole salads or Earthbound Farms (a Dole company) and fresh spinach because of the poop that watered the fields a few months ago. And that happened while I was on a complete spinach kick. So much for the leafy greens. How's a girl supposed to eat healthy and remain bacteria-virus-and madcow-free when all the green leafies and the healthy stuff turns out to have crap, salmonella, and something called Clostridium botulinum in them? I may as well have a Big Mac! I fear, that I, the anti-green-thumb, am going to have to dig deep and find my inner "mother nature" and turn into a food nazi on my tiny plot of suburbia-land, growing and raising all of my food myself. Fingers crossed it'll work. The chickens, the eggs, the milk, the salads, I will have to get whatever makes peanuts (is it a tree?) and walnuts. While I'm at it, I may as well stop using electricity, dig a well, and oh I won't be needing my car and all the fumes it lets off (since I won't be needing it to shop for food), because the world is crumbling from Global Warming anyway. What's the use? Maybe it will be good preparation for when the earth begins flooding from the melting polar ice caps and everything shuts down, and the world begins to panic, and then it will be "snaps for Christie!" Everyone in my neighborhood will look to me for the food I began farming long ago because I saw it coming. It will be a meager farm. One cow. Two chickens. A couple of peanut trees. A lettuce patch. Some tomatoes and other good veggies that grow in the Florida sand. Some strawberries, oranges, and blueberries, they do good here. Maybe some herbs. I'll have to learn how to make cheese. And wine. Wheat too, so I can make bread. Perhaps, I can delve one day into chocolate. Coffee? It's food roulette! Which food will make you sick next? Everyone, place your bets!

3 comments:

AnnaMary said...

hahaha You're hilarious. I think you should start out trying to make chocolate though!

Sparky Duck said...

isnt it peanut bushes?

I say go and celebrate mardi gras, use the Hurricanes to cleanse the system

- PRACTiCAL CHiCK said...

Gives new meaning to the phrase "Free surprise in every box" doesn't it?