"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Thursday, February 08, 2007

The Anti-Valentine's Day

I rate the "single" Valentine's Day about the same as New Year's Eve. It's a lot of hype usually flanked by a side of disappointment and I am glad that I no longer have to experience them. Examples: Valentine's Day follows recent break-up so I'm left to wallow in a bottle of wine and self-pity while watching When Harry Met Sally. New romance begins week before Valentine's Day and gift-giving situation is awkward on both sides, which leads to an over-examination of the gift-giving, which could ultimately result in relationship demise, especially if gifts are too extravagant (stalker) or too loving (a love poem???-I've only known you for a week!!!). Or of course, the classics: boyfriend shows up drunk. Not spending Valentine's Day with the one you really want to spend Valentine's Day with. Spending Valentine's Day with someone you love, but doesn't love you back. Sigh.

So in my many single years, I developed an immunity to the (airquote) "holiday" and stopped caring about whether or not I had a Valentine. (I would like to preface this by saying "married Valentine's Days" are a whole different ballgame. I don't wince at the word "Valentine" because I have a guaranteed Valentine, and there's no pressure, and I'm not wishing I could spend it with someone else and the gift really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I know I will at least get a sweet card and some kisses. Or if my husband's reading this, the diamond ring on the Kay's Jewelry Store commercials.) So, my favorite "single" Valentine's Day was completely and utterly man-less which could very well have been a bust, but it turned out to be the best. I was living in New York City and working at one of the news channels. One of my best girl friends (and co-worker) and I saw Valentine's Day rapidly approaching, and we, with no dates or prospects thereof, decided to take matters into our own hands, and do the anti-Valentine's Day and spend it with each other. In fact I think someone even asked her out a couple days before, but she said no, she has a date! Haha! Anyway, we both took the day off work, to which our boss raised an eyebrow. We went to a day-spa. Got massages. Went home and got all dolled up. Went a wonderful martini bar downstairs and got blitzed off apple martinis. Followed by a great restaurant we made reservations at called "First", at the corner of First Street and First Avenue. More cocktails. Yummy food. Two friends in a sea of couples everywhere you look. But that was ok with us. More than ok, really. The Anti-Valentine's Day was truly liberating. It turned into one of those pivotal moments in my life where I realized I didn't need a man to complete me. It would be nice to have one. But I didn't need one. Dating was even easier after that because I knew I could be as happy un-attached, as I was attached. It also made dumping crap guys easier. A man should be the "fries" to your "burger". Not the burger. That's what I always say. So that, my friends, is my favorite single-lady Valentine's Day. What's yours?


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Valentine Day is tough for single people.

amy said...

Good points there! I visit here frequently

Bankerchick said...

My single daughter is out celebrating the Anti-Valentine right now. She left about an hour ago with one of her friends.
I look forward to reading more on your site.

Linda said...

I agree with Jean-Luc! We single people feel so singled out on this holiday - somehow it just doesn't seem right.

Came by from the carnival!

Tammie Jean said...

Hi there! I'm a new visitor to your blog, finding my way here from the carnival. I enjoyed your story of the Anti-Valentine's day! For my many single years, my daughter was my Valentine and we had our own rituals for the day. Now that she has her first boyfriend and I am married, we have our guys to celebrate with, but fond memories of when it was just the two of us :)