Sidelined

So that whole spotting thing ended up lasting about 2 1/2 weeks. How annoying! I called the doctor when it first happened and she said wait it out and see if you miscarry (which was just the most comforting thing you can ever hear). Then I called again a few days later when it continued, but it was much less. They said that was good. Fast-forward to a week later, still going, but not that much, just there, and still. So I went in for another sonogram and ship-shape! Things were going swell and they even found the source of the bleeding which was the placenta digging into my uterus. We say the baby just made a "hard landing." So with a big sigh of relief last week and a few happy tears, I went merrily along on my way hoping I could continue my normal workouts that I'd been asked by the doctors to postpone until the spotting stopped. Now finally it has stopped (now officially day 7 of no spotting) and I call gleefully to hopefully return to working out, but no, not until next week's appointment for another check.

Um. I can just feel myself getting fatter. Good news is the scale has not moved. But my cravings are becoming increasingly unhealthy (fettuccine alfredo, fish sticks, eggs benedict) and red alarms are going off all around me and I have to offset them! I have to get to the gym! Stat! I feel like all my progress is rapidly deteriorating. Yes, I could just try and ignore these cravings of mine and substitute healthier options, but what fun would that be? Besides, there is nothing that I want to eat. I am so hungry but I am not in the mood for anything. Ever. And I hate things like chicken (for now) and pork. So when I finally find something I am willing to eat without gagging the whole time, I find the need to obey my hunger. That usually means some sort of ridicu-carb. I guess if I'm looking at things in the cup-full type of way, at least I'm wayy less into ice-cream than I was last time around. Does that count? I am so looking forward to the beginning of the 2nd trimester in a couple weeks when I get so much energy it's like I'm on a never-ending supply of Red Bull. And the healthy stuff sounds much more appetizing.

So not 3 miles

The walk was so much fun! I had a tearful moment standing there looking all around me seeing little kids and strollers everywhere and all the hundreds of people around me walking for the same cause. It was wonderful. I also saw a few people I used to work with at the tv station I used to work for who were covering the walk and that was nice. (The station was one of the sponsors). It was an absolutely gorgeous day and as we were watching the pedometer on the jogging stroller, we noticed it wasn't quite 3 miles but instead almost 6. And at the end, the first-trimester-tireds got me and I felt like I was going to fall over and die and I found out that I think I have a knot in my butt (or at least lower back) because man, that hurt. But the walk was awesome and it's yet another post best told by pictures. Till next year!!!

Dad, Mom-In-Law, Hubby and Poops (We missed my mom on walk day, she was a little under the weather. Love you, mom!!)

Me and Poops

Why wouldn't we seen an alligator (or two) in the pond we were walking around?? Believe it or not, we were walking right next to a bald man pushing a stroller, who just happened to also be an alligator wrestler. I felt so safe! It was like the time I took a flight that not only had the priest who married us on it, but Hulk Hogan, would you believe, and I thought, this is the safest flight ever! If something happens, we'd have one to give the smackdown, and one to pray that we all make it safe!

My dad alligator wrestling. (He is not a professional).

Walking walking walking

Who doesn't love blue ice pops!!!!

$691

That's the final tally! Almost $700! I'm so grateful to all of you for donating to the March of Dimes and for contributing to the fight against prematurity. Thank you again and I know I keep saying this, from the absolute bottom of my heart! The cattle call for the walk is at 7am so we'll be up much earlier than that. Hopefully the migraine will be gone by then. Time for some shut eye! I'll catch up tomorrow! XO Thank you one million billion kooplazillion!

One Square?

I don't know why I keep thinking about this and maybe if I write this I can get it out of my system. But I have a message for Sheryl Crow. Sheryl dear, there is no way in the world I can use just one square of toilet paper. I am quite glad now that we do not run in the same circles, because I would be uncomfortable shaking hands if we did. I have thought about this "one square" proposal of yours often, and as much as I, too, would like to save the world and be environmentally conscious, I think that the one-square thing is impossible. Let's go with the energy-efficient light bulbs, low flow showerheads and electric cars first, k?

A Headache, A Bathing Suit, and Wet Pants

I have a headache big time. I woke up with it at 2am and took my pregnancy-approved migraine pills and it went away. Only to return again around 6 when Poops woke up crying. I wanted to go in and console him and say something like "It's still sleepy time" (more of a begging type plead), which he wouldn't have liked but he would have understood and then return to bed, but there was no stopping this crying. So the whole family was up at 6. This is early for me. I don't even like the normal 7am thing, but I live with it. My wishlist would be 7:30. When I think about 7:30, I go into a daydream-like trance and I get all warm and fuzzy and feel like Calgon just took me away. I just don't work well early. I used to write for the morning news shows, which meant getting into work at 4 am and that was really rough for me. I call those the dark days. Going to work when it's still dark is just not natural.

So yesterday I went bathing suit shopping which was, of course, as always, magical. Unfortunately, I am not the woman who was blessed with a pregnancy without stretchmarks no matter how much I slathered on the cocoa butter, so I had to factor this into my suit-buying. And I also wanted to make sure I was going to accomodate my eventually expanding belly, so I ended up with a sort of "tankini" sort of thing. It's green. It didn't look that bad in the dressing room, but I pulled it out of the bag at home yesterday and thought, sheesh that's green. Even typing "green" makes the swimsuit seem somehow greener and I am beginning to rethink my purchase. Maybe the classic black would have been a better choice. I got the afternoon "off" yesterday because my mother-in-law was able to come over and watch Poops while I ran some errands. I relished the silence of being alone because I think besides a short drive to a friend's house this week, I haven't been actually alone, all by myself, in quite some time. Sometimes I miss that. I need it. I don't even turn the radio on in the car because I love the quiet. Of course, what do I do with my time off but choose bathing suit shopping. But you know what? It wasn't actually that bad. I gained a bit of weight with Poops' pregnancy. Despite my efforts, I only lost about 10 pounds of the weight that settled in after the hospital (at the hospital, I actually lost 25 pounds which was part baby, but mostly water from preeclampsia-yes, almost 20 pounds in water. You should have seen my face.) So I won't do the math, but because I am pregnant now again, before I was able to rid myself of all of the babyweight, I now have to put dieting on hold and own it. So that's what I'm doing. I won't be like this forever, I refuse. But I can't do anything about it at this moment except watch how much I gain. So too bad. If you have to see me on the beach in a bathing suit, you're just going to have to get over it. I have. I just gotta own it for now. I live in Florida and I'm staring down the barrel of a partial summer pregnancy, so I am wearing tanktops and a bathing suit and I am going to own it! Even around my skinny size 2 post-baby girlfriends. Jerks.

Oh, also I sat in water. You would think I'd learn because this is the second time this has happened. I have a giant water bottle with a straw that hides under a thingy when you push it. I put the water bottle on the driver's seat and went into the mall. When it's hot, this particular water bottle tends to leak out the straw, I don't know why, I think something about the water expanding, and it goes right up and out of the straw by itself. This time, all over my seat. But I didn't notice it until I got out of the car to go into CVS to refill a prescription that my entire butt was soaked. That moment of realization when you feel something cool on your backside, which is, of course, the breeze on your wet butt. So I am inside, continually pulling down my shirt in the back as far as it will go, but of course it doesn't hide the whole butt because my shirt is not that long, but I totally need this prescription so I gut it out and wait. Eventually my name is called and a line forms behind me as I'm paying for my prescription and I'm paying and pulling on the back of my shirt simultaneously and I realize the drugstore is probably the worst place to have wet my pants because the whole line is probably thinking I'm picking up a prescription for incontinence. Well I owned that too. I walked out with my prescription with my head held high. Oh well! There's something about getting older that makes you care just a little less each year about what other people think. Happy Friday! Have a wonderful weekend! I'll post our walk pics tomorrow!

Thursday Thirteen #24

13 REASONS I'M WALKIN FOR PREEMIES THIS WEEKEND

1. I have one of my own.

2. I don't know why. I suspect it was because of preeclampsia but I can't know for sure. Most moms never know for sure why.

3. More than 1,300 babies will be born prematurely just today alone.

4. Going through labor when you know it's too soon is terrifying.

5. I don't want other parents to feel that feeling of overwhelming helplessness and anger and fear.

6. Though the NICU nurses and doctors are wonderful angels for caring for our babies and working around the clock to save them, you're separated from your baby, in most cases, can't nurse him, and have to abide by visiting hours, for who knows how long. Days, weeks, or months.

7. But even worse, babies in the NICU, especially the very small ones, as Laura at Adventures in Juggling (who is a NICU nurse) put it (and I'll never forget reading this), "these tiny babies who do survive have endured pain that would make a big, bad grown man cry and faint."

8. It's heartbreaking!!!

9. Not to mention, it's expensive! The average cost of the birth of a healthy newborn is $1,700. A preemie's bill starts at $77,000.

10. More facts: Premature birth has increased 31% between 1981 and 2003.

11. Prematurity is the number one killer of newborns in America.

12. There may be some hope: progesterone injections may actually help for women who have already had a premature baby and are pregnant again. It's had a more than 30% success rate of preventing premature birth to women in their second pregnancy. You can read about it here.

13. Of course, if you want to donate, please click here! Happy Thursday Thirteen everyone!

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I Can't Believe Our Walk is Saturday!!! Already!!

Well, our fundraising efforts for the March of Dimes are winding down. That was quick! The walk is this weekend and we are up to more than $540!! I set a really large goal of $2,000 and we didn't make it quite that far, but what we did raise so far was still a great accomplishment, so I am not disappointed. How could I be? I have some wonderful friends, relatives, and friends in the blogging community who have reached out to sponsor us. And I sincerely thank everyone who did, I just cannot begin to tell you how much it means to me that you supported a cause that has become so near and dear to my heart. (By the way, if you haven't sponsored us yet and you feel so inclined, please, by all means, feel free to click on the button with the little tiny baby Poops right there on the top of my sidebar to contribute! It takes you straight to the March of Dimes page.) Again, hugs and kisses to all of you.

Poops' birthday and this walk both really round out an eventful, emotional year for me. Today, I finished a scrapbook I've been working on of only the time we spent in the hospital NICU after Poops was born. Pictures of him in his incubator, his visitors, our hospital and NICU bracelets, an Easter card he got from a volunteer group, his discharge papers, footprints, the NICU handbook, all of it. I started working on it a few months ago because I thought it would be therapeutic for me and I couldn't have been more right. When Poops turned about 10 months old, I remember hearing someone say, if you don't move on from something traumatic in your life, you are literally punishing yourself day after day after day. Punishing yourself so that you remain in that day or period of your life and you live those days over and over again. The person called it "self abuse" and what you have to do is forgive yourself, thank God for the experience of it and move on. I wasn't sure if I was ready to move on at that moment, but I did realize that hey, that was me. I was stuck in that two-week period and I had to do something. That is the week I began to let it all go. I began the scrapbook. I joined the fight against prematurity by fundraising for the March of Dimes. And I had a dear friend of mine who also had a premature baby and by helping her, I realized I was also actually helping myself. This literally all happened within the same week. And I stopped crying every day. The fog lifted and I finally felt like celebrating. My healing had finally begun! Now, the same month Poops turns one, I am walking for prematurity and would you believe, I have also finished the scrapbook. Such a fitting end to a chapter of my life that I will always remember as a difficult blessing. It all seems to be coming to a close at the same time, and a new chapter is beginning, complete with another new life on the way! It brings a tear to my eye, but it is a happy one this time. So, I also found a couple other pictures while digging around in the files for the scrapbook and these I haven't seen since the week Poops was born. It brought back so many memories and was such a lovely surprise to see them after all this time. The one below is of Poops under the lamps that helped him with his jaundice. He had to wear this awful little purple cap and goggles that he couldn't see through and he hated so much when the nurses put it on him. While he was under the lamps, we literally only got to hold him for about 15 minutes every few hours, just to feed him, because he had to go back under the lamps. And we would flee the NICU quickly afterward because I couldn't bear the sound of his cries when the nurses put the headgear back on. The one below that is just us having a moment.

A Sanjaya-Free Idol

Yay! No riff-raff to clog up American Idol this week. Just a good, old-fashioned singing competition with actual good singers. I've been waiting so long.

So it was Idol Gives Back week and they were all singing "change the world" type of songs. We are actually voting this week because it's for charity but I'm not telling you who we're voting for (Jordin). This is a big deal. The last time I voted, I voted secretly for Diana DeGarmo and was outed by a friend of mine and I hadn't voted ever since.

So Chris opened it all up and did a great job singing an Eric Clapton song "If I Could Chaaay-ee-ange the World". Such a cutie. I don't think he'll win, but he deserves to be this far. Every time I see him, I think he looks like the baby that Derek Jeter might have if he made it with Justin Timberlake.

Melinda was next with some song by Faith Hill I didn't recognize but as always she rocked it. My husband and I were discussing whether or not Melinda had a "neck coach" because again, this week, her hair was done in such a way that revealed that she very much does have a neck, despite what we saw in the entire rest of the season, including auditions. And it's a nice neck. I only wonder if that was maybe her secret weapon to stay in the competition, to finally show it off in the last few weeks, or if the coaches reviewed the tape and decided that the neckless thing wasn't working out for her. Anyway, she truly is the resident pro as Randy called her. I can't see her ever being voted off, but I can't see her winning either. I see one of the trendier singers like Blake or Jordin actually winning. But again, I can't see her going away. She's just too good.

Then, Blake, who sang one of my favorite songs, Imagine, by John Lennon and it was pretty good but not win-it-all good. Lakisha did what she did last week and sang a former Idol tune and I am never a big fan of that but it was a song by Fantasia and it was ok. And I loved her dress by the way, but only the front. The back was a little, how do you say, not good.

Then there was Dr. Evil, Phil Stacey, who this week really wore the Dr. Evil suit only it was black and not gray. I have to close my eyes to listen to him because he has such a kick-ass voice but when I look at him singing I can't really believe that the voice I am hearing is coming out of that face. Not that he's a bad looking guy. He's just a little weird. And why did he wait until last week, by the way, to reveal he is actually a country singer? I had no idea! I thought he was that guy who didn't really have a genre, who might sing anything, whatever was pretty mellow mainstream. Turns out he's totally country! Maybe last week was the "reveal" week with him being all country and Melinda's neck making a first appearance. He sang Garth Brooks and it rocked.

I think I may have a minor girl-crush on Jordin. She is gorgeous and I just love her voice! And I still think it's hilarious how she towers over peensy little Ryan when they stand together. Husband says this week it's Lakisha's turn to take a bow, but I think it'll be Chris. But we both think it'll be Melinda and Jordin in the finals. We shall see. At least it won't be Sanjaya. Who, by the way, is EVERYWHERE! I cannot turn on the tv without seeing him and his hair doing a live interview on some show. OK, we get it. You're an entertainer, you want to do some acting, modeling and singing. Now please just go away for just a few minutes. You'll be famous no matter what, even if people don't like you. I have never quite seen such a popular guy with such a strong love-hate thing going on across the country, it reminds me a little of William Hung, only I think Sanjaya will actually make a tad more money out of it.

My Heroes

I should be napping right now because I'm exhausted and my eyes are closing involuntarily, and the little tantrum-thrower is sleeping soundly. But I'm blogging. Because I cannot contain my excitement for the season of Heroes starting again tonight and I have one main request to you, Heroes producers, directors, staff and actors: Please do not kill Peter Petrelli!!! He's my favorite character and last season we left him mid-scene with the bad guy, Sylar, beginning to saw his skull open in order to kill him and take his superpowers. Yes, it's gross, and if it's as gross tonight, I will have to watch some puppies and kittens frolicking across the tv screen afterward so I can sleep nightmare-less. My theory is that Peter will use one of his superpowers to become invisible and disappear, thus confusing Sylar, and saving the Indian professor who's pinned to the ceiling with an arrow, then using another superpower to take the professor and FLY FLY! If you're not a Heroes watcher, does this not intrigue you?????? Literally the most brilliant, genious show I have ever seen in my life. I am borderline obsessed.

So I will try and squeeze off a nap until I hear Poops stirring in the monitor. He has actually been a lot less tantrummy since the weekend and for that, I am quite thankful. Maybe he's getting over his bottle breakup. Maybe that was it, and he's done with tantrums now! Hey, everyone needs a fantasy.

Heroes. Tonight. NBC. 9PM!

My Kids Are Going to Rule Me and I'm Scared.

Sometimes I like to picture what it would be like if, in the real world, adults screamed their heads off when they were hungry, rubbed their red eyes and endlessly, erratically wailed when they were tired, or when they became frustrated, just tore up papers and broke things in complete, irrational anger. Or whined, "Noooooo, I want thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat one!" Or grunted over and over again wanting whatever someone else has. In business meetings. Or in the middle of the grocery store. Or in a restaurant. I think to myself sometimes, what if I just lost it right here (tearing at my hair like Kramer) because I am so hungry? Or I so desperately needed a nap and in the middle of a conversation just started rubbing my eyes and whining for no reason. In true, child fashion.

I introduce to you, the tantrum. I do not know from whence it has come, or why, but it has arrived and I'm none too happy. Mostly because when it happens, I have to figure out why it is happening. Is it because we gave up the bottle completely this week and he has lost his comfort and security in a sense? Is it because he's hungry and/or tired? Or is it because at age one, he is beginning to assert his independence and is trying to establish himself as a person? He is only one. But I swear, he is already a different boy. I try one tactic: completely ignoring him mid-tantrum. This makes him louder, more pissed off, and I ignore some more until it goes away and another one breaks out two seconds later. Or my second-string tactic, distracting him, giving him another toy, which he tries to rip up in frustration and anger. Or finally the third tactic. Throwing my hands up and giving up, surrendering and letting husband take over, or if he's not here, the good old Aquarium Swing. I feel like I am flailing out of control and he is going to own me and I see it coming and I am in a complete panic. He is only one and he is about to own me. He is about to plant his flag and stand on top of me like he has just conquered mom and he is only one.

Argh! I don't want to view this as battle. I want to view this as going into another stage, a journey, with all our supplies on our backs, going side by side, in a partnership, yet, with a clear, level-headed leader. This is my wishlist. But it's hard to be level-headed and patient when there is a clear melt-down standing there before your eyes and you just want to say, "Get ahold of yourself, man! We're going to make it through this!" But the meltdown continues, like we're both about at the end of our tether, chapped and frostbitten in the freezing cold of Mount Everest and the only option left is one of us eating the other one.

Maybe this is just a quick preview phase, gearing me up for a serious, even more scary phase two. Or maybe he is just lashing out because of his loss of the bottle, which makes me want to regress and take that lovely bottle out for his comfort, but alas, I will trudge on. This too, shall pass. I will continue my aforementioned tactics, even if I continue to feel like I am losing my grip. I will dig my heels in, for I shall not be conquered by a one-year-old. And I shall not regress, myself, to childish, tantrum throwing in response to a one-year-old's tantrum throwing. I shall maintain cool control and patience in the face of a meltdown. But seriously, all kidding aside. I WANT MY MOMMY!

Little Boy Tears

I admit that I am moved easily by the sight of man-tears or even boy-tears for that matter, so I did feel a tad bit bad for Sanjaya as he wailed on stage while watching his good-bye montage. But that's where it ends. Sorry, Sanjaya. But it's for the best. Bye!

The Killers and the Big Gong

***Update*** Yes, thanks Sparky, I forgot to mention best song! The classics were great, in fact the whole thing was great, but I loved Read My Mind, which he did not once, but twice, in the first set and again after the encore. They fooled the crowd into believing the concert was over, they jumped back on the stage after the encore and half the crowd who was halfway out the door all rushed back in to hear them. It rocked.


I love concerts. Last night we missed the inevitable fall of Sanjaya to see The Killers in concert and they rocked big-time. They played at USF where my husband and I both graduated from and some no-named band opened up for them. We went with a couple we knew back in college who also graduated from there and it was a real grown-up going out night with the kids at home with the Grandmas and the possibility of being out until the wee hours of midnight. Whoo-ee!! So we were trying to figure out where to go for dinner and we were naming off all our old haunts that were all now closed. I guess ten years would do that. Sniff. So we ended up at the old standby, Beef O'Brady's where everyone got to have beer but me. I tried to smell it to make me feel better, but that was just gross. Then as we were driving to the concert on campus, we passed all of the streets flanked with apartment complexes that everyone knew someone in back in "the day" and we remembered all the parties at every one of them and the strong possibility that there was a drunken night that spilled out into at least one of those parking lots, maybe even a drunken Irish jig that you could see from a balcony, and we all had a long conversation about how much we wish our children will grow up to be better than all of us. I remember us having a wipey board on the outside of our dorm room door listing who was having a party, when, and at which apartment complex. And we would line up our evening accordingly. Yes, my parents must be proud. Yet, as we're standing there all married with kids (and one on the way) and old, with our gray poking through, there is always some bit of longing at a concert at a college to be "one of them" again. The air was filled with giggling and mindless clacking by gaggles of skinny girls wearing precariously placed tube tops waiting in huge bathroom lines, only to like, take forever, because they like, totally have to pee, and return to the group of frat guys waiting outside for them holding their beers. Oh the memories. I do cringe thinking that I may have been one of them in a time where everything was just so important. But really what was important was that you got home before 4am to get in a good, solid, 3 hours sleep so you can get up at 7 to bang out that paper that's due for your 9:30 class. I was really proud of my ability to multitask. It made me what I am today.

Anyway, back to the actual concert. Boy do The Killers totally rock! I felt bad that I love them yet I only just downloaded their CD to my IPod last week. They had a huge gong on stage that I was excited about and I waited all night to see someone bang the crap out of it and they never did. What a tease! I'm now starting to make a tally on how many concerts I've seen pregnant. With Poops, it was U2, Billy Joel, and Cold Play, unless seeing Jerry Seinfeld do standup counts too, and that would be four. This time around, only The Killers, but it's still early. It's funny to have that big belly out at a concert. For some reason I feel so out of place, like I should be at home knitting some booties instead of rocking out at a concert. The crowds make me a little nervous because not everyone is looking for your big belly which seems so vulnerable and I have inner panic about guarding it. But what I love most about being out at a concert is how freeing it is. It makes me remember that I'm not just a mom, but I'm also still a pretty cool chick who still loves to completely rock out. And believe me, that's easy to forget with all of the birthday parties and trips to Gymboree and chats about poopy diapers.

Worlds are Colliding!

Either the world is spinning right off its axis, or Melinda Dolittle has a sexy side! I am flabbergasted! She was actually HOT last night! I never thought it possible! On the flip side, bandana-laden Sanjaya absolutely hit rock bottom and if he doesn't get voted off this week, I will be convinced that the earth is, indeed, about to spin right off its axis.

It was a jungle in here.

I've been consumed. This is the first time I've fired up the computer since Thursday. Who knew that planning a birthday party for a one year old would be this consuming???? I may have gone overboard. Who knows. But the days leading up to the party were a complete panic. Every day in the 7 day forecast was set to be beautiful. Except, of course, for Sunday, which had a 60% chance of rain. It was supposed to storm at 8am for only a 1/2 hour and move quickly. Then it was supposed to be nice, but very, very windy. 30 mph winds windy. And at 9 am, we still hadn't made a decision on whether or not we should still have it at the park, but we made a game-time decision that the wind would be just too much and our balloons and cake would be strewn around the playground if we even tried, so in the end, the weather won. We had it at our tiny house. It's not really tiny, but it is when you cram 30 people in there. We made the best of it though, we pushed all the tables against the walls and spread out all the food, made a mad dash to decorate, and there was sweating involved. But in the end, there was plenty of seating and open space for little people to play. I had a lot of fun with this jungle theme! I am so excited! I recommend it to anyone having a party. Plus you have tons of leftover decorations should you decide to have a luau in your backyard in the summer after you get it re-sodded. Ahem. Anyway, here's the cake table. The little bags on the left side are our favors for the adults, which were candy bars that gave proceeds to endangered animals. (My mom's idea). She wrapped them up in paper bags and we called them "Supply Rations."I made "Jungle Juice" (non-alcoholic) and each child got a safari hat and binoculars as part of their goodie bags and an animal sippie cup for the juice. I also had a kiddie snack table with grapes (labeled "snake eggs") and potato chips (labeled "beetle wings) and animal crackers and trail mix. This was an idea I got off the internet and it really was cute. So I can't take the credit. My journalistic ethics beg me to give credit to the mom who pioneered the Jungle themed kiddie snack table before me.
My dad made a cute safari jeep out of cardboard that we put around the little red wagon we bought Poops for his birthday, and the kids took turns sitting in it for pictures. He did such a good job!! It was so cute! He also as a bonus made a cardboard gorilla and cut the face out so kids could stick their faces in the hole and look like the gorilla. All this time and I never knew my Pops was this crafty. Snaps to Gampy! Here he is posing with Poops.
Poops had a blast and did really well double-fisting his smash cake. I was impressed. At age one, he demonstrates true eating abilities. I am not surprised that he excels in this area given our family history. On both sides.
It got a little messier than this of course, but not bad enough to require an outfit change. It was really fun, though! The jungle was cleaned up by 8 o'clock and you'd have hardly known we even had a party here. But man, I was leveled yesterday. Poops had his one year checkup which meant shots (oh yay!) and we slept for most of the day. We're all recuperated and the house is a disaster again. Just like it should be. Haha! Now I'm off to read blogs! Hope you had a great weekend!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE POOPS!!!

Oh my little Poops, I can't believe how it's been a whole year! Look at how much you've grown! You made such an entrance into this world and still you light up the room and the hearts of everyone in it every day. I can't believe how life has changed for all of us, how much greater it is, and how you've made every day worth it. All from just a tiny little you. I love you, little boy!
I really just can't believe how fast this year went. It's 9:30 am now, and right about this time last year I was scared out of my mind because my water had broke at midnight and I was about halfway through my 17 hours of labor. I was about to have a preemie. Although I guess I couldn't think about that too much, because all I could do was focus on the pain. Oh the pain! At 1 o'clock I gave in because I couldn't take it anymore. It was a swift kick in the stomach with every contraction and it knocked the wind out of me every time. Epidural, please! We delivered at 5:40. Little tiny boy 4lbs, 11 ounces and it's been a roller coaster ever since!

What a ride having a kid is, huh? My life is nearly unrecognizable now. But I have to say opening up our lives up to this tiny little guy was the most natural thing I have ever done. I never would have imagined this. I remember sitting in my tiny studio apartment on 49th street in New York City working at FOX News thinking I could really be 60 and single without children and love it. I walk downstairs and everything is right there. My deli. My job. My favorite restaurants. Bars. I loved my life. I didn't need anyone. I never had to check in. Then I married the love of my life, but I was almost 30! An old hag! Then we did all those married things, moved, bought a house, got pregnant. But the best part was falling in love with our baby, falling in love all over again with his daddy, and falling in love with my new life. It's amazing how fast things can change and how fast time passes. The twists and turns a life can take in just three years. Or even just a year for that matter. So, now there is a long, drawn out whining coming from the monitor, and it's coming from a birthday boy. And here's where I say, bye! I gotta go get a boy.

Embodiment of Latin Passion

That is Sanjaya. Just kidding. Although, to be perfectly truthful, and I can't believe I'm writing this out loud, but Sanjaya was the only one who "felt" his music on Latin night. I agree wholeheartedly with Simon, that it wasn't horrible. Do not get me wrong. I will never like Sanjaya and the way he makes love to the camera and makes me feel dirty and skeevy. But to me, all of the rest were just a bunch of people singing Latin songs. It may just be because I'm lazy right now, or that it really all was just so-so. Nothing stood out. If my husband was writing this, here's how it would go: Melinda: "this is horrible". Lakisha: "this is horrible" and on and on. He's a tough crowd. I just thought they were all ok. Good news is that they all looked really good, cute dresses, loved Jordin's hair, Phil wore a hat, and I couldn't get past Lakisha's gigantic hoots enough to focus on her song. Each one is the size of my head!!! I guess it really is sheer envy that I have to notice this. I look forward to my pregnancy boobs because they boost me up a cup or two, but then you know what happens when it's all over and the baby's on the bottle. Or maybe that's just me. I'm spending way too much time on hoots. Anyway, this week, anyone goes. It's Idol roulette.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who had to dig deep for some motivation today! I ended up finding some, although it was touch and go for a while. Easter is officially put away. Parts of the home are clean (the parts most people can readily see). Went grocery shopping in the pouring rain. Then I tried to replicate the Melting Pot and made cheese fondue for dinner with leftovers from a cheese platter I made for Easter and it came surprisingly close! Yay me! I am always amazed when I make something that turns out halfway decent so I have to give myself mad props, yo, when I do it. I'm still finding myself as a cook. So that's it, that's where it all ended. My balloon deflated shortly afterward, I could barely keep my eyes open for Idol, and I'm back where I started in my pajamas.

Must. Get. Moving.

OK I have seriously got to get it together. Poops is taking a nap so I have a prime "getting stuff done" window that is rapidly shrinking. The problem is, my body does not want to do anything except sit in this comfy recliner in pajamas. And blog. It doesn't even have the energy to go up and get the coffee it just brewed. The more my body does this, the longer my to-do list gets and shorter become the number of days/slash/hours to Poops birthday party, for which most of my to-do list revolves around. Except that now, it still looks like the Easter Bunny threw a party at my house and didn't clean up after himself, there are baskets and grass and candy everywhere and toys and eggs and clothes. So before I even get to party stuff, I have to clean up all of the Easter remnants. And now, we're on "rain watch" because we have not had rain in months, but of course now it's raining every day and there's a 40% chance of rain on Sunday, and only of course because I'm having a party at a park with a playground that day. Why why whyyyy???? The rain location is here at my house, so I had better get it together quickly or 30 people are going to really think that I am a complete slob! OK, baby steps. Will shut down computer. Will turn off Today show which is re-running ridiculously long segments on the Imus apology/suspension. Will obtain cup of coffee. Will start from there. Oh, what a little tiny raspberry can do for my energy.

Babycenter Du Jour

I subscribed to Babycenter so long ago, when I first found out I was pregnant with Poops. It emails me weekly updates on how big the baby is and gives me an idea of all the symptoms I should be having, warning signs, yada yada yada. It was helpful when pregnancy was this huge mystery to me, but now that it's not, I read the blurbs quickly to refresh myself. One of the funniest things about Babycenter that I had forgotten about until I got pregnant again is their weekly descriptions of how big the baby is. They usually equate it with some sort of food. Last week, the sonogram tech said the baby was about the size of a grain of rice. Babycenter called it a lentil bean. This week, the Babycenter calls him (or her) a raspberry. So whatever week it is, we end up referring to the baby as the food for the whole week. My mom calls and if it's Monday it usually goes like this.
Mom: Hi! How are you? How are you feeling?
Me: Good (enter symptom here) but otherwise good.
Mom: What is it this week?
Me: A raspberry.
And we get a chuckle out of it.

So now, I've resorted to cheating and peeking ahead to see what sort of food or fruit it will be next week, which, incidentally, is kidney bean. Followed by grape and kumquat.

A Friendly Game of Tag!

Ooh a tag!!! I've been tagged by Stine over at Mother's Home, who, incidentally has a really cute blog that you should head over and check out. She tagged me with a little meme started by RT at Untwisted Vortex, and I'm going to tag one person at the very very end. I will list 10 songs I listened to recently at the end of everyone else's lists. And I am laughing that I am listing my recent 10 songs because I've been downloading songs from I-Tunes all day for Poops' Jungle-themed birthday party coming up this weekend, so guess what songs I've been listening to! HAHAHA! Anyway, here are everyone's 10 followed by my own.

RT's Ten
1. Phil Collins - Sussudio
2. Patrick Swayze - She’s Like The Wind
3. Steely Dan - Hey Nineteen
4. Christopher Cross - Ride Like The Wind
5. Olivia Newton-John and ELO - Magic
6. Frankie Valli - Swearin’ To God
7. All 4 One - I Swear
8. Boyz II Men - End Of The Road
9. Electric Light Orchestra - I’m Alive
10. Spandau Ballet - True

Chris's Ten

1. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Turn It Again
2. Ataxia - The Sides
3. Rollins Band - You Didn’t Need
4. Gorillaz - Dare
5. John Frusciante - Going Inside
6. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Stagger Lee
7. White Stripes - 7 Nation Army
8. Queens Of The Stone Age - Go With The Flow
9. Foo Fighters - All My Life
10. Janes Addiction - To Match The Sun

Claire's Ten
1.Beyonce: Check on me tonight
2.Lilly Allen: Smile
3.Duran Duran: Wild Boys!
4.Justin Timberlake: Sexy Back
5.The Black Eyed Peas: Pump It
6.Rogue Traders: Voodoo Child
7.The Prodigy: Smack My Bitch Up
8.Maximo Park: Going Missing
9.50 Cent: Candyshop remix
10.Lynard Skynard: Sweet Home Albama

Stine's Ten:
1.Eagles: Hotel California
2.Mark Knopfler: Quality Shoe
3.Bruce Springsteen: O Mary Don't You Weep
4.Tom Waits: Tango till they're sore
5.Bruce Springsteen: Jersey Girl (by Tom Waits)
6.David Bowie: China Girl
7.Randy Newman: Rene and Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After the War
8.Cyndi Lauper: Time after Time
9.Score from "Chicago": When you're good to Mama
10.Jaques Brel: La Valse a Mille Temps

My Ten:
1. Tarzan: The Original with the screaming yodel and everything, from the Super Heros Invasion soundtrack
2. The Lion Sleeps Tonight: The Lion King Soundtrack
3. Tropical Jungle, Forest Night Ambience (which sounds like a bunch of birds and animals): Essential Sound Effects
4. You'll Be in My Heart: Phil Collins, Lion King Soundtrack
5. The Jungle, some cute little children's song
6. African Safari: Chuck Jonkey
7. Hakuna Matada: Lion King Soundtrack
8. The Lion Sleeps Tonight: Another Lion King special
9. Circle of Life, same
10. Kabutema: Safari Sound Band

So there you have it!! You asked!!! HAHAHAHAHA
I tag my lovely Irish friend the Irish Church Lady! Happy Meme-ing!!

So here are the rules as I understand them from RT: The person tagged is supposed to repost all the previous taggee's 10 songs before listing his or her own songs (just like I did). Then he or she is to tag only one other person who does the same thing, but includes all sets of 10 songs before posting his or her own. When the list reaches 90 songs, the final “taggee” is supposed to tag RT, the originator, who will then fill in the final 10 for a total of 100. This creates a circular chain.

Happy Easter!!!!

Happy Easter, everyone!! The Easter Bunny brought Poops an Easter basket with a cute little chick that he grabbed and hugged and loved. I love that he's starting to show cute little baby emotions. This time last year we could only give him a tiny bunny that sat in his incubator. He looks like such a big boy now I can't even believe it. What I've learned this year: no grass in the Easter basket for a 1 year old.

We had a nice breakfast and headed up to my mom's for ham, sorry Anna Mary! But we did freeze you a dish so you can have some when you come down this week! Ham for you! (Ham is my sister's favorite food. She was a vegetarian when she was 10 and the only meat she would eat was the diced ham on the Wendy's salad buffet back when they used to have one. Her vegetarian phase was brief.) I digress. My parents bought him this:
Sidenote: I've been anti-sweater-vest most of my life, and I don't know what happened, but I just had to have this one for his Easter outfit. I bought it weeks ago while looking for boys Easter-wear. Which, by the way, there is none. There are TONS of cute little Easter dresses that I drool over and purses and shoes, but no cute little boy Easter stuff. But I loved this outfit. I am still mostly anti-sweater-vest, but I liked this one.
So now I am sitting here, all Eastered-out, with ham-belly, in my pajamas, wearing my new Peeps socks that my Aunt Carol gave me. Thanks Aunt Carol! Told you I'd wear em!! What a fit! (love Peeps.) OOh, also I forgot how much I lurrrrrve black jelly beans!! Had a whole bunch of those too. Yum.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! Thank you to everyone who left me an e-mail or comment about my pregnancy worries. You are all wonderful! Things have become increasingly better and I think things are still very much in active working order. I am definitely still pregnant because I continue to get migraines and nausea and unbelievable exhaustion, but I will take it! And like it! And not complain one peep! I am calling the doctor to follow up just for my own sanity but I am quite sure everything is fine. But for now, I'm going to focus on the funnest 1st birthday party ever, which is next weekend already, and for which my sister is flying down for and maybe we'll get to steal away and see that Will Ferrell male-pair figure skating movie. Happy Easter to everyone! Especially you, Old Man! We miss you over there in Iraq! The countdown to come home is on!!!

A Day at the Beach

We took Aidan to the beach this week! He loved it so much more than I thought he would, I swear, we are so going all the time after this!!! Can you believe I live 20 minutes from the beach and never go? Shame on me! We went on Wednesday afternoon around 4. It was still hot but the sun wasn't beating down nearly as hard. But of course I slathered him with sunblock anyway all over, especially his bald head, but he ended up miraculously keeping the hat on anyway. We were there for a couple of hours, just soaking it in. Poops loved his shovel and kept eating sand (gross). And then who knew, but there was actually drama at the beach, and this is something I swear you don't see every day. There was a blanket of spring breakers who were imbibing just a bit a couple blankets down from us, and one of the girls was starting to raise her voice a little and using some profanity, a little "f-this" and "f-that" flying around, and I've never been to the beach as a mom but there were a lot of family blankets around us and we were all looking at each other like, "some mouth" cause we all had kids running around (mine was crawling around of course). And I saw a man walk over to the girl and I turned to my mom and laughed a little and said "Uh oh, a daddy's going over to tell her to put a lid on it" and we were snickering about it so we both turned around to watch him saying something to her. Well, then this is where it gets strange, she yells at him something like "f-off" and he, with both hands, grabs her around the neck and starts choking her! Our mouths are dropped open at this point and our first instinct is to go over and help but there are guys in the girl's group so the guys go over there and try to pull the man off her, but then he grabs her hair, and she's flailing back at him, and he's biting her and at one point trying to twist her leg! It was unbelievable! Before we knew it, there was a huge tangle of limbs and at the bottom of it was this man and this girl! This man was at least 50, portly, very tan, and was there with his wife and teenage daughter. I wanted to go over to this little girl and give her my phone number because this HAS to be what goes on at home! I want to save her!! Oh this was awful. What man would do this??!!!! When it was all over, the man started packing up his things along with his family, and a large group of males (most of them just onlookers to this display) started forming a border around him, because not a single one of them was going to let him go before the police came. And they eventually did, and they took him away. I wonder if he was actually arrested, he should have been! Crazy guy.

On a Another Note

I loved Gina! And now I am starting to get actually mad at Sanjaya himself for continuing to suck and for being there now when he clearly doesn't belong there! And now, real, good, wonderful singers who actually have a shot at stardom are being kicked off. Phooey.

Our Little Grain of Rice

I felt like Rachel from Friends in the ultrasound yesterday because I couldn't see the little peanut no matter how hard I looked. I have three other pictures but I think this is the one where I can make it out. The sonogram tech was funny, when I couldn't make out the baby in the picture, she said, just look for the blinking light. That was the tiny heartbeat. The baby's only about the size of a grain of rice. So tiny, with a heartbeat. It was so beautiful. We had the rest of the three hour appointment, and I remembered how much I hate pap smears, and I asked all my questions about the possibility of a recurrence of pre-eclampsia, and early birth and all of that, all the questions I knew all the answers to already, which are of course, we'll have to wait and see. I wish everything went perfectly for the rest of the day. I would have blogged about this eagerly awaited sonogram-day sooner, but I was really upset last night. I started bleeding a little when I was out at dinner last night, significantly enough for me to call the doctor about it. She said it could be nothing, that many women have gone on to have happy, wonderful pregnancies and something like this could just be a fluke. But it also could be a warning sign and I will just have to sit and wait to see what happens. It is a terrible wait. I have already cried and prayed and begged for this little peanut to stay with us. It is too hard for me to think that one moment there is a living, tiny heartbeat inside me and the next minute there may not be. But I have turned my faith over to God on this Good Friday and I will continue to hope for the best. Whichever way that goes, I will have to find peace with. Things seem to be a little better today, so God willing, it really may be nothing. But I won't lie. I'm worried. I'm just going to take it easy today.

Wax On Wax Off

So, the eyebrow wax I briefly mentioned on Friday. This isn't really a review, but more of a tale of the follies that followed my attempt at waxing. In sum, not the best $3.99 I've ever spent but I guess in the end it worked, and it was, after all 4 bucks. The ladies who usually do it at my nail place, and pretty much anywhere I go, usually take too much off and I walk out with skinny, blond strips of eyebrows that are almost invisible to the naked eye. But the Peter Gallagher look doesn't work for me either so I decided to do it myself this time. I got Gigi's non-tweeze microwaveable blue wax and you microwave it for a minute but a minute didn't do it for me, by the time I was done cookin the stuff it was 5 minutes and the wax was all over the rim and running down the side of the bottle from trying to mix it in between nukes. So there I was, sitting at my kitchen table where I get the best light, using my compact mirror, applying the stuff to my eyebrows with the little plastic paddle they give you and I'm battling the long stringy strands of wax that connect the paddle to the place on your eyelid where you've just applied the wax and it simply won't break, so I had these big patches of blue wax on my eye with long strands of wax hanging off of them. The wax doesn't really spread evenly, either. Once it's there, it's there. So there were these big blobs of wax, the kind that look like they've just sealed an envelope on my eyelids. I was a vision, people. And bugger! Do they hurt to pull off! I think it's much better pain-wise when a different person does it, that's usually a "pull it off quickly like a band-aid" kind of pain. This, however, was a pull it off, but not all of it will come off at the same time-kind of pain, so it was a nice, slow, torturous ripping. Then little pieces of wax were left all over my eye and stuck in my eyebrow, and it also got all over my fingernails, and none of it would come off. And somehow, I have no idea how this happened, but two days later, I spotted three little blue specks on the couch where the wax seems to have made its way, and that's clear across the room! Note to self: blue wax does not come off microfiber suede. Anyway, my eyebrows do look spectacular, I must say. But it was quite an ordeal for just for an eyebrow waxing. Good thing it wasn't a bikini wax.

Magnet of Joy

I have another aversion this pregnancy and it's to Paula Abdul. I wish I could fast-forward through her comments, which is what I usually do when we miss the show and have to watch it on our dvr. But watching it live I have to cringe and cower behind my ice cream on the couch when she opens her mouth. Her comments are exactly what Randy says, but with odd, nonsensical phrases, beeps and clicks thrown in. Like calling Jordin a "magnet of joy" or telling Melinda Dolittle that every song she sings has a "beginning, middle and an end." Umm. I especially hate when she gets up and dances during a performance because I think a judge should judge and I think she has gone way off the deep end somewhere after season 2. Maybe I'm being too hard on Paula, but I've been holding this in for at least 4 seasons and I just have to let it out.

Summary of "Tony Bennett Night":
Blake had a little George Michael "Wake me up before you go-go" thing going with "Mac The Knife" and it made me scared and sad. The judges seemed to like him though. Whenever there's skipping and snapping of fingers accompanied by that 80's jig, it's not good for me, dawg. Chris and his Derek Jeter eyes, I liked, of course. I do not have a secret crush on him. I predict top 5 in his future. Melinda finally didn't look surprised by her good performance! She rocked out as usual. Oh, Phil, (Dr. Evil) with no hat on this week (wah), wear the hat next week, I'll be your best friend! Great voice as usual but the song was so slow I thought the episode was going to last well into tomorrow morning. But he did tug at my heart strings after getting ravaged by the judges when he said, "I was just trying to focus on my wife during the song", which by the way was a realllllllllllllly slooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww version of "Night and Day".

Jordin, Gina and Lakisha were great. Haley had the stripper/showgirl thing going on. Oh Sanjaya. I'm sure you know by now that Sanjaya, paired up with the Paula-dancing, was just a sheer moment of joy for me. Anyway, because we should consider Sanjaya a fixture on this show, I will have to agree with the husband's prediction for this week's bottom two: Phil and Haley.

Summoning the Nausea Fairy and the Hot Rice Sock

Good news: pregnancy progressing positively and all the tell-tale signs are upon me. Bad news: all the telltale signs are upon me. I have mistakenly summoned the "Nausea Fairy", as someone called it in my Thursday Thirteen comments. I feel like complete crap. In addition to the nausea in my first trimester last time, I also had terrible migraines. I thought I was in the clear this time around, but I got a repeat of that this weekend. I woke up Saturday morning at 4 o'clock with a raging migraine that took a couple hours to get under control, with the help of some Excedrine Migraine, but I had to call for backup: The hot rice sock. We have some serious headaches and just general all over pains in our family and I think it was my sister who came up with the rice sock idea, or at least she saw it somewhere and passed it on to us. Here's what you do (or what we do): you pour rice (uncooked, of course) into a tube sock (hopefully clean), tie the end of the sock, heat it up in the microwave for about a minute, and then put the hot rice sock on the area of pain. For me, it was across my forehead, from temple to temple. Believe it or not, it is a miracle. Each grain of rice is nice and warm and it retains heat like it would moisture, it just sucks it right up and passes it on to you. Ooh lala. I've started seeing manufacturers coming out with much nicer versions of these in stores like Bed Bath & Beyond, so you can actually buy them pre-made. But my mom and I made one and added some fresh sage to it, so it's hot rice with the smell of sage. Very soothing and zen-like. It worked nice on my headache. My mom thought it would be a great idea to get a really big sock from a really big Marine (my sister's husband) and thinking she would get a nice, big, brand new sock, actually got a used one. HAHA!! That sock's been in a hot Marine boot during parades. I still laugh about it. But she's washed it up good and its provided her with a ton of rice relief ever since. It covers a lot of area.

Hope everyone had a good weekend! I slept most of it. Here's hoping the nausea fairy will take a day off. Countdown to ultrasound begins!