"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Intruder!

I must literally be eminating "Come to me!" from my very being when it comes to attracting spiders. I do not understand this at all. I am grossed out beyond belief right now and with everything that touches me, I jump and wipe it away quickly for fear that it is an eight-legged freak. Imagine my horror this morning, all sticky-eyed and barely awake at 7 a.m., wearily watching the Today Show as I watch Poops playing on the floor after my husband leaves for work, when I turn my head and get a glimpse of something large and black, moving quickly along the arm of my sofa. I realize quickly this is a huge spider. Almost the size of my palm. I am shuddering as I write this. I want to puke and run at the same time, but alas, I am the adult and protector in this scenario, and cannot call for my husband. The travesty! I am the biggest arachnophobe I know, and last summer we had to spray for what else, but spiders! I must admit we have had quite a long running without a large spider sighting, but still. Why? Why why why??????? I long for answers as I reflect on this terrible irony! So I grab the nearest flip-flop, immediately glad that I am the "leave-my-shoes-around" type. I must strike quickly because the very thought of losing this insect betwixt the very cushions where I nap and sit (quite often) and having to look for it (and even worse, maybe never find it!) is even more terrible than having to actually kill it. So I smash it quickly. Wipe up the legs and the body (gag! puke!) and dispose of them in the garbage can, that I will not touch again because I know what is in it. And what comes afterward, but a tiny tinge of regret for having killed a little living thing, followed by the thought of "I'm sorry, but I do not know your motives!" as if I am speaking to the spider itself, as an intruder. What if it is the biting kind? I cannot take chances here.

But now I have that terrible, skeevy feeling, as if everything around me is moving or crawling. And I dread the thought of having to clean every crumb and move every tiny thing that could possibly be harboring a spider. What's worse than seeing one? Of course, it's the thought that there may be more. I cannot live with this possibility. I must clean and call the bug people and pick everything in sight up off the floor. But alas, I am paralyzed by fear of moving something and having a large, black, leggy body staring up at me from underneath. Oh, if only I were "one" with all of God's creatures.

7 comments:

Skittles said...

Oh yuck yuck yuck yuck!!!!!!

Mommy2JL said...

LoL the worst part about being a mom IMHO is that you can't just run away from the spiders, or other creepy crawly bugs, anymore. I've had my brush the creepy crawlies as well and let me tell you, it was no picnic, that's for sure.
There was a spider, ON MY SON. GAH!
It took me a deep breath and a quick second but I sucked it up and brushed it off. WITH MY HAND!

Ew EW Ew... it still grosses me out... to this day... even just thinking about it... eww..

I feel your pain, lol

Sparky Duck said...

But why do you have to clean every single stinking part of your furniture?

Anna Mary said...

I sat down and started to read about the "Intruder", which caused me great panic by the way...

But I gave up at the first sight of the word spider...I don't know whether to feel relieved or that I have to take a shower to get rid of the heeby jeebies!

So I'm back in action! Life as a Corps Wife! Weee!!!

Bankerchick said...

Ewwwe! I have to kill spiders and just about every other bug I see. Insect out number us and they don't belong inside.

Skittles said...

Are you still trying to recover from the spider? LOL!

I have a special sticky post up!

JD said...

I'm probably right up there with you when it comes to arachnophobia. Kinda funny since the roles are reversed with my wife and I. I much prefer to let her do the killing since it doesn't bother her.

One of the worst things about living in Florida is that there ARE so many freakin' creepy-crawly things. I can't say I enjoy the Canadian winters, but the distinct lack of large spiders is a big plus.

As far as regret, I never feel bad when I kill one. I figure if they are outside, I leave them alone, but as soon as the enter my territory (ie, the house), they are fair game.